


Script Fragment from Graduation Day, Part 1 (parody)

by WilliamTheB



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Comedy, Episode: s03e21 Graduation Day Part I, F/F, Gen, Screenplay/Script Format, Season/Series 03
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-22
Updated: 2013-02-22
Packaged: 2017-12-03 04:42:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/694286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WilliamTheB/pseuds/WilliamTheB
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alternate ending to episode "Graduation Day, Part 1."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Script Fragment from Graduation Day, Part 1 (parody)

Buffy: Thought I'd stop by.  
  
Faith: Is he dead yet?  
  
Buffy: He's not gonna die. It was a good try, though. Your plan?  
  
Faith: Uh-huh. The Mayor got me the poison. Said it was wicked painful.  
  
Buffy: There's a cure.  
  
Faith: Damn. What is it?  
  
Buffy: Slayer's blood. As justice goes, it's not un-poetic, don't you think?  
  
Faith: Come to get me? You gonna feed me to Angel? You know you're not going to take me alive.  
  
Buffy: Well, actually, I was thinking.  
  
Faith: Hmm?  
  
Buffy: I mean, I was going to stab you, but like. What if he fed on both of us!  
  
Faith: Come again?  
  
Buffy: I mean, Faith, look, I know you were upset that Angel loves me and not you and were doing that whole chain thing. Which, a bit cliche much?  
  
Faith: Says the girl who can't come to big sister's house without a makeover! I mean: the pants, B.  
  
Buffy: They are a bit uncomfortable, actually. No, but I mean, why are we fighting? I mean, can't we just let Angel have a taste of both of us. We can share! He can share us. (she pauses, her expression a bit slyer)  We can share him.  With each other.  
  
Faith: Trust me, B, I've done this with before. No one comes away happy. And usually everyone but me comes away with a black eye.  
  
Buffy: It'll be different this time. I mean, we can chain him to the bed, pull each other off after he's bitten long enough. Take turns! Tend to each other's wounds? We can have the rest of the gang there watching, Wesley too even -- I mean, I was going to fire him, but then we brainstormed this idea. It'll be sweet. I mean, private is good too, if that's what you want. Slayers heal really fast, even from half of what could kill us. We just need lots of fluids. Maybe even champagne. I mean, I know we're not drinking age, but under the circumstances....  I mean, that's what this is all about, right?  
  
Faith pauses. Looks a little panicked.  
  
Buffy: I mean, I know you are all Miss Impulsive and everything. But would you really use the ONE poison that leads to slayer's blood as the cure? The one thing where the only way we can get through this guaranteeing that no one will die is to share an intimate moment and be blood sisters for real? I mean, Faith. If you were crying for help any louder I would go deaf and have nothing but ringing in my ears for the next few days.  
  
Faith: No, no, I didn't look it up, I -- I'm evil! I'm bad! I'm working for the Mayor, B! The Mayor!  
  
Buffy: I know. The Mayor. Your version of ultimate evil is to be a civil servant and to hurt a vampire.  
  
Faith: No man! I've got mad evil skills. I mean, I -- I almost killed Red --  
  
Buffy: Will told me about it! It was right after she said it was too late with me. It's kind of sweet, in a way. Though I think you should apologize to her after we save Angel.  
  
Faith's plan has been revealed. She still can't quite admit it.  
  
Faith: But, I -- I killed a vulcanologist!  
  
Buffy pauses. Frowns, confused.  
  
Buffy: Like, from Star Trek?


End file.
